He's probably a three monther

I'm sure you've probably heard somebody say, "She's a twenty-footer," meaning this hypothetical she looks rather attractive from any distance, so long as it's greater than twenty feet. Thirty feet, for example. I personally don't like this scale, because it kind of breaks down for good looking people, the kind of people at whom one would actually enjoy looking. What do you say when you meet someone who is actually hot? She's a one incher? Do we get into microscopic scales? I hope not, because the only way that could be lamer would be to say, "She's a 9.314159."

A friend of mine proposed using poker hands to describe the relative attractivity of girls, but it didn't really catch on, unfortunately. The beauty of this system is that two pair may sound low, but you typically bet on a two pair. There's a very high ceiling; like the girl in your class might be really hot, and so you could say she's a full house. And that's almost a no lose situation. I think someone like Maria Sharapova would be somewhere like four of a kind. How many straight flushes have you seen in real life? One maybe? See how perfect a system this was?

Anyway, Fred Thompson just announced that he's running for president. I give him about three months before he blends into the noise. This looked like a really compelling group of candidates early in the election. But now that we get to spend time with them, they all look horribly, horribly flawed. We are already within the time range for like all of them. Except Thompson. We'll see how long that goes.

All right, if I'm going to bring up these scales, I think I owe you a picture, possibly to illustrate. Keeping with the tennis theme, I present a possible new tennis crush, Ana Ivanovic, who is at worst, a king high flush.
This makes me a little bit uncomfortable, though, because this is the first celebrity crush who is younger than me. I'm feeling old. But I have a blog, and that makes me hip, right?