It's not quite a love poem, but they are tubers, after all

Sometimes when I perform an activity that I had not done for a long time, I am reminded at how wonderful that experience was and get angry with myself for not doing it more often. Watching Wayne's World is one of them. I love Wayne's World; both the movies and the SNL sketch. But I can't remember the last time I watched any of them.

I made mashed potatoes with dinner tonight. They were glorious. I don't know why I don't eat them multiple times a day. I don't know why this was the first time I've done it since I moved to Augusta. I hate myself a little for not eating them more. You know how sometimes you eat an entire five pound bag of fun size Snickers bars and then, bloated and hurting inside, wonder why you did that? It's like that, except the complete opposite. I want to invite them to my wedding. (For food, although making mashed potatoes a groomsman is not completely out of the question.)

I am now going to make short list of Chuck Norris style quotations expressing my opinions of mashed potatoes.

• They should give heroin addicts mashed potatoes instead of methadone, that would eliminate drug addictions everywhere.
• If Blowpop made a mashed potato flavored lollipop, we'd still be hearing about them.
• At football games, they should sell mashed potato hats like they sell beer hats. I would buy two.
• In Soviet Russia, potatoes mash you!
  
• I am going to start dipping instant mashed potatoes, when the real thing is unattainable.
• When I die, I hope it's a mob hit where I am fitted with cement shoes and thrown into a vat of butter mashed potatoes to sleep with the chives.
• The Egyptians should have built the pyramids out of mashed potatoes.
• In the future, instead of butter I will top my mashed potatoes with mashed potatoes.

Let me know if you have any others to add.