Ring, ring goes the bell

This week begins the fall semester at Clemson University, and really, it's a two-edged sword. I have completed all of the course work requirements for my degree, so the classes themselves are neither edge. The good edge is mostly football season and increased presence of college aged females in the area. The bad edge is that it will take me longer to buy groceries.

Football season is wonderful. Everybody's excited, people are talking to people they don't know about a game, and there is tailgate food. Game days are like a carnival, except without the cotton candy and shiftless people running rides. The shiftless people sell tickets in front of the stadium instead. It's all very energetic, but it is a little weird to think that some of the guys on the field are younger than me, and 85,000 people are cheering their names. I don't know what I'd do if 85,000 read this and wanted me to succeed; hell, I don't know what I'd do if 18 people read this. I'd probably quit my job and try to figure out a way to swindle all of you out of money so that I wouldn't have to do real work. Come to think of it, that's pretty much what athletes have done.

The big problem is that the population of Clemson, SC will double this week. Clemson is a delightful (but slightly boring) place during the summer. The weather is nice, it's deserted so you can always get food on a moment's notice, and the traffic/parking situation is stellar. Now, none of that is true. The weather might not change, but otherwise I stand by it. You see, when large numbers of college age females females do anything, college age males follow. I'm pretty sure that every sorority house has at least one guy dressed as a women who has infiltrated their ranks. So, when I go to the grocery store to buy peanut butter, feta cheese, and jalapenos, I'll have to either go at 9:45 after the people have already bought their beer for the night or wait in Disneyesque lines and fight with traffic. The traffic isn't so bad, compared to my last place of residence (Atlanta), but parking downtown is. Downtown is where the bars and restaurants are (in case that wasn't obvious) and it's a small street and really kind of oddly shapen, sort of like a banana with strange protusions. Actually, it's nothing like that; it's more like a cactus. Regardless, the parking situation is less than ideal.

Anyway, these next few weeks will mean football and having to park further away from my lab.
Over the summer, I sort of staked out a regular spot, although I think my roommate and I staked out the same one. We have opposite schedules so it worked out. Neither of us have class though. Is there such a thing as a one edged sword?