He won't leave me alone

I decided to change my cell phone ring after having the same one for what seemed like 27 years. I decided to change it from something called Island, I think, after discovering that I ran into a number of people who had my exact phone (people who were also not interested in the latest trends, since it was 27 years old) had also selected the same Island ring tone and all of those people were teenage girls. After cycling through my myriad choices of midi music – I think I had eight to choose from – I decided on something will probably be equally as fruity because, let’s face it, the technology 27 years ago isn’t what it is today. My phone cannot play something manly and hip like Gold Digger because it isn’t sophisticated enough. Although Guns n' Roses’ Mr. Brownstone would be badass.

I can’t say I understand the cell phone ring obsession completely, because a ringing phone is inherently obnoxious. It’s a sound to alert you that someone is trying to contact you, so it is loud and shrill to get your attention away from whatever your doing, like eating Cheetos and playing Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball, so that you will answer the phone rather than continue to look at Kasumi’s bounces as she kills the volleyball. So, rather than pick something that you are sure is just shrill enough to get your attention and unique enough to know it’s yours, you pay a dollar to download twenty five seconds of the same hip-hop song that everyone else has. Do you enjoy the ring more than the phone call? Do you sing along? Do you get upset that you only have one verse? I would. Then again, I had that gay Island tone for a very long time, so what do I know.