Stick 'em up

I don't like the feeling of sticky things on my skin. I never have. I can't explain it, but it's one of those things like when people say, "I don't like mayonnaise," and if you ask, "Have you tried it?" and they say, "No. I just don't." I'm not going to interrogate you any further about your mayonnaise (even though it really makes sandwiches scrumptious), don't try to get me to explain about sticky things. Because I can't. Even though I will concede that mayonnaise doesn't make a lot of sense as to why it is good; it's whipped oil and egg yolk. It doesn't seem like it should be good, but it is. I was trying to think of a funny analogy to follow this up with, but the first thing I could think of was a computational model that we talked about in class the other day that works but has no theoretical basis. Good Lord I need to get out more.

You know when you pour Coke into a glass with ice in it, and the bubbles fly up like a foot above the glass? If you hold your arm over the glass in the path of the bubbles, they get the syrupy sugar on them. That feeling happens with a variety of food/drink spillages, and I will practically take a bath in the kitchen sink if it happens to me. The worst is when you have a small spill on the counter top and you have to clean up with a rag or paper towels or something; I end up washing my hands like three times between each stage because I don't want to accidentally get sticky on something in the kitchen, lest I touch it later. I need to put the sticky under quarantine. I do admit, though, that I feel a little like a psychopath when this happens.

This isn't just limited to food. I also hate (though I can tolerate) sticky name tags. I generally try to avoid them if I can. I don't always want people knowing who I am anyway -- in case later I decide I want to be a superhero. Band-aids are also to be avoided, but sometimes they just can't be. I really have to struggle with that, though, if the cut is really worth it. It's really an agonizing time when I accidentally miss the onion and hit my thumb for a variety of reasons.

Every once in a while, I'll step on something, and the bottom of my foot will inexplicably be sticky. I think this can happen with other appendages as well, but the feet get into places that others don't. Who knows what's on floors! I sure don't. But right now, there is something on my right foot that sticks a little bit to the carpet, and I hate it. When I run my hands over my foot (not the best solution, because I might be spreading this horrible symptom, but sacrifices have to be made), I feel nothing. It's like this particular stickiness knows I'm coming. I'll get the last laugh, though, when I shower. That's like the atomic bomb in this situation, and I'm not afraid to use it.