I hope it's socks

Call me a resident of Mayberry if you like, but I don't get the people peek at their presents. I remember in elementary school and what not when people used to tell each other their techniques for finding out what Santa got them for Christmas, like sneaking into the closet when the parents were out boozing or carefully unwrapping a corner to see that it was Excitebike in that small box. Actually, I think Excitebike came out when I was like one, so I don't think this is accurate. But it would have been an awesome gift.

I like the surprise. I like the act of opening a package with unknown contents and reacting to it, so the giver sees the gratefulness in my eyes, because really, it's pretty nice the other way around so it seems pretty selfish to deprive the giver of that, especially when they're giving you stuff for free. So, basically, I'm calling you out if you peek. Ass.

I think it's a little bit like movies. I don't try to guess the plot of mystery movies as I'm watching them, because I like the revelatory experience. I like to get caught up in the experience. Like magic. It's pretty dumb, but it can be fun if you try to get into it. If a magician is reading this, I'm not apologizing. Because get a real job. A movie is supposed to allow you to enter into this alternate world, and if you're worried about guessing what's coming next, you're missing out on what the movie's supposed to be. Just like missing out on the Spirit of Christmas by peeking.

It's getting to be a bit less interesting these days. I'm not asking for a bike or Xboxes or Wiis. A few years ago I got a pretty awesome stereo. I don't know what I'm going to get this year, but I don't think it'll be quite that dramatic. Probably some dollars and maybe a movie or a book. Last year, one of my gifts was a cookbook, and it was awesome. I had no idea it was coming, unlike every scene in the new James Bond movie. I didn't want to guess it, but it was pretty predictable. But poker games in movies always end the same way. I'm still kind of bothered that it was poker instead of baccarat anyway.

The moral of the story, though, is that you're pretty much a bad person if you peek at your Christmas gifts. It's like stealing part of the moment from the people that are giving them to you, and showing that you're so impatient you can't wait. This is worse than those people who open gifts on Christmas Eve, which should b e completely unacceptable. So, if this you, work on it.