Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Can you make cool shapes with your fingernails?

They have laser hair removal so people don't have to shave ever again. It's usually for women who get tired of shaving their ladyparts or mustaches. I don't think it's as popular with men because they, like me, always have that nagging question about possibly shaping their sideburns into lightning bolts one day.

I wonder why they don't have a similar procedure for fingernails and toenails. This is one of my least favorite hygiene tasks, because it's so hard to schedule and remember. You don't do it everyday like teeth and contacts. Something has to draw my attention to my fingers, because I don't really think about them much. And they don't always grow at the same rate, so sometimes my ring finger needs it, but middle and index are rocking out just fine.

The toes are a whole different ballgame, because they go even slower. How often to you think about your toenails? About as often as you think about as often as you think about the obnoxious singer from Rush, which is not very often. Toenails are a bit more trouble, too, because the big toe's nail is thicker than the others and requires a heavier duty clipper, unless you want to spend 10 minutes per big toe. Not me, I'm no sucker.

The worst part of the whole ordeal is that somewhere, on some finger, there is an edge that isn't quite cut smooth, so it scratches its neighbor finger or catches on stuff, but you don't realize it until the next day or so. (The worst is a toe that gets caught on the inside of your sock, making the inside of your shoe fraught with peril -- just another reason to hate wearing shoes.) Then you have to go back and get the clippers out for one little piece. This really makes me feel like I live in the Middle Ages, because surely we can do better than this.

1 comment:

mlo said...

you know, i once hated wearing shoes, so i stopped and tried to walk barefoot for a day. unfortunately, i didn't get very far on the newly black cemented road in the middle of moab, utah. and therefore, i appreciate shoes very much.

true story.