A baby fox is called a "kit." I hope that's accurate.

A friend of mine challenged me to write an entry that includes the mumps and something else, which would be kind of a difficult piece to write. However, I can't remember what that other thing is. I promise that I'll write that, as soon as she reminds me what that other thing is. I'm not going to say anything more about the mumps in this post. But expect more mumps in the future. I do like the word mumps, and I apologize for lying to you guys about not mentioning the mumps again. Y'all deserve better.

I have to give credit to early man for domesticating the animals that we all know and love. Dogs, cats, horses, livestock, etc. Dogs protect homes, cats are hilarious and sometimes adorable, horses are good for riding and racing, and livestock is delicious. On the other hand, I have to wonder why other awesome animals got passed over by the domestication train, like the fox, raccoon and toucan. There are a few others, too: a tiny elephant, house cat sized jaguars, and zebras for riding. I really have to wonder why knights in Medieval France didn't go to Africa and bring them back and take the Saracens to school. On zebraback.

The first three, though, are the ones I think I'm pissed most about. Foxes and raccoons are kind of nuisance animals in their wild states, but it seems like foxes could use their guile and cunning to do something beneficial to people, and raccoons could clean up garbage by eating it. Toucans are a little more understandable, since they're rain forest dwelling birds. And I think they can be kept as pets already. Actually, to tell the truth, I'm not really sure I get the idea of birds as pets. Put them in a cage and their not going anywhere, so what really separates a pet bird from one you just happen to catch and lock in your house? Less squawking? Because I could definitely see the advantages to quieter birds.

The others, I understand, are a little bit more difficult. Dog sized elephants would be hard to beat as far as household animals go. Unless it's by a kitten sized jungle cat. I think an ocelot would be a serviceable stand in for an actual jaguar, and they are pretty small. I'm pretty sure, though, that the crushing power of the jaws would probably break hands or arms or something when they're playing. It'd be totally worth it, though.

On an unrelated note, I think I am more deserving of a television program than Carlos Mencia.

Who is this?

Is there anything quite as depressing as a wrong number? It has really been revolutionized with the advent of nearly universal caller ID, where the quiet mystery of getting a phone call is stripped from the act, declaring the caller right there on your phone before you pick up the phone. Except I guess a phone call isn't really that quiet.

If you see a number you don't recognize on your lcd for your fancy phone (or if you're like me, dot matrix style display for the Ol' Soviet Mark II) it could be anybody! It could be somebody offering you a job or saying they enjoyed your most recent witticism or asking if you'd like to get a surprise lunch. It's hope itself, all wrapped up right there in an unknown telephone number in your phone. The sad part, though, is that it's so frequently dashed as a wrong number just seconds later.

"Is this Roger?" The crazy thing is I almost invariably ask, "Who?" as if perhaps I misheard my name as Roger (which doesn't sound much like Roger) or maybe it's somebody I know. I don't know Roger, and he doesn't live here.