Nobody better lay a finger on my...

Man, I miss Butterfingers. The candy bar, I mean, not athletes who do their jobs poorly. This probably sounds like a strange sentiment, when you are probably thinking, "Why, Engineer, what has happened to Butterfingers? Have they been discontinued?" No, they have not. I actually had one like a month and a half ago. But it was not the glorious bite of tastular explosion that I recall when I was a little lad.

It was one of those things that I loved in every way. I always ordered Butterfinger blizzards from Dairy Queen. At Halloween, I traded for them. I wanted Butterfinger flavored shampoo. The only downside to this delectable delight was that it filled in all the nooks and crannies of your teeth with fake peanut butter. I think it was supposed to be peanut butter? But when you were done, your teeth were all flat. It was remarkable, really.

They have a real problem with consistency, though. I guess it has to do with shelf-life; some of them are everything you hoped for in a candy bar, sometimes they taste like orange poo. The one I had a month ago did not measure up to the expectations of my memories. I use the term "memories" a little loosely, because it was probably only like two years before that since I had one. Anyway, in my mind, Butterfingers have fallen from grace. Much like Jennifer Garner (re: Ben Affleck). I will never order a Butterfinger blizzard again, as I have graduated on to real peanut butter. I wish it were an actual graduation, so I could eat my mortarboard.

Oreos

I just saw a commercial for Oreo choco stix, and I was reminded of chocolate covered Oreos. Does anybody remember them? My grandmother had them for a brief period when I was very young and impenetrable to the evil forces of fat and sugar. I remember them being delicious, and for some reason, my parents thought they sounded awful and would not get them for me. There may have been a bit of miscommunication; they were covered in chocolate. I don't think health was an issue, because back in the days when my mom packed my lunch (which took place after the grandmother/chocolate covered Oreos and as recently as 2003), I was the envy of all the other kids with my junk food that now seems irresponsible.

The point is, I haven't seen chocolate covered Oreos in a while. I don't think I've had them for like 17 years, so I wonder if they'd still be as delightful as I remember them. Are there any other foods that you folks miss from childhood but can't find anymore? Let's talk about them and then realize how our childhoods were entirely determined by food and action figure advertising.