Hey, you know what? Ice cream is pretty great. I don't know who is responsible for it, wikipedia says it's both the Mesopotamians and the Chinese in the same article, but I always heard it was the Chinese. (You know, in that same sentence with noodles and paper and fireworks. But you know what they didn't invent? Whiskey. My people handled that one. You're welcome.)
There is one problem that I have, though. You know how the first time you scoop ice cream it comes out so wonderfully, like, well, cream? That is a pretty difficult to surpass dessert experience. There are a few that come close: first bite of fresh cookies, Oreos dunked in chocolate, and throwing a pie at a drifter. But after the ice cream has been in the freezer for a few days, it is not nearly as glorious. In fact, it is hard and barely a cream at all.
There are a few possible remedies, and none of them are particularly good. You can heat up your spoon, but that's only a temporary solution. You can lower the temperature of your freezer, but then you run the risk of having ice cream that's too creamy or cherry popsicles that look like they're crying blood. I think the sanest answer is to get a soft serve machine in my living room next to my couch.
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