Who decided what alphabetical order was, anyway

Everybody everywhere in America knows the ABC song. Isn't that weird? Everybody learned the alphabet by singing the letters to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. There isn't regional variation, there aren't political preferences, and the only dispute is whether to end with "now I know my ABCs" or "next won't you sing with me?" We can't even agree what to call soda (you Northern people with your "pop" are ludicrous), but everybody sings the alphabet the same way.

I was thinking about this when I was listening to Lord's Prayer, actually, and how everybody divides it the same way when they lead it in church. I know, I probably wasn't focused on the most appropriate thing at the time, but Our father,/ hallowed be thy name,/ thy kingdom come,/ thy will be done/ on earth/ as it is in heaven/ etc is always paused like that. Some of them make sense, like the first two, since they are offset by commas. Not all of them have to be that way. The Pledge of Allegiance is another one. I pledge allegiance/ to the flag/ of the United States of America,/ and to the republic/ for which it stands./ etc Again, some of them make sense. But, really, is "I pledge allegiance to the flag" so hard to remember or say that they need to be divided up? I submit that they are not. Although I do sometimes forget where I put my cell phone.

I want to see somebody take a risk with this. I want to hear about a church somewhere in Louisiana or something where a guy changes the rhythm and throws everybody off, resulting in a mutiny. Or a school where the leader changes things up a bit with the Pledge. It might make you think about what you're saying a little bit more, no? I always thought that saying the Pledge everyday was kind of cheap, since really, it's a Pledge of Allegiance. My allegiance doesn't change daily; otherwise it's kind of a useless pledge, isn't it? And really, for a while I kind of thought withlibertyandjusticeforall was one word when we started saying it when we were younger. I wouldn't mind seeing pauses that say with liberty/ and justice/ for/ all. To emphasize the good parts, you know.

Maybe somebody could do a dance remix of the alphabet song with different cadence to test my theory. I think it has some pretty serious market potential, really.