My accent is really boring

I was on my way to my car this afternoon, and a bug flew into my ear. This doesn't really have anything to do with what I'd like to write about in this post, but I feel that this event ought not be forgotten. To be clear, when I say it flew into my ear, I mean it nearly landed on my brain. It was in the entrance to the canal, and it sounded like a bee does in a cartoon. If it was an actual bee, I think I might have died. Has anyone ever heard of a documented case of a person stung by a bee in the ear canal and surviving? I sure haven't heard one.

I know I've touched on this subject before, but I am jealous of everyone (except New Yorkers, Bostonians and Chicagoans) who has a regional accent. I was watching the news, and one of the reporters was a Scotsman. That accent is awesome. There are a number of great accents, notably, all of them but those three I already mentioned. I am very aware of this, as a native Floridian, since I don't sound like I'm from anywhere. This is even more pronounced in South Carolina, where most folks talk like they are from South Carolina. It is a delightful accent to listen to, but I am marked as a foreigner immediately. Florida counts as foreign is some parts round here. Also, I don't drink sweet tea. There are connoisseurs of sweet tea around here like there are of wine and liquor other places. It's really quite something.

My roommate is from Wisconsin, and when he apologizes he sounds like he could sing for the Barenaked Ladies. My mom is from Michigan, but her northern affectations have been extinguished long ago. Her dad and some of her siblings, though, say things like ruuf and ruut instead of rewf and rewt for roof and root. They don't like it when I tell them they're doing it wrong.

I like to do voices every once in a while, and I think I do a couple of accents sufficiently for something like a comedy sketch, but if I were a spy that had to pass off as a German, I might be found out. Even though I'm in the land of the Southern folk, the South Carolina accent differs a little bit from region to region, so I don't think I could do a passably authentic Southern accent. It's a little troubling, because I think I'd like to be able to. I want to be like a lingual chameleon.

I decided to take a job that will keep me in South Carolina for a while, so maybe I'll get the chance to work on it. And hopefully I'll get to befriend an Australian so I can work on that too. So, until then, cheers, mate. And watch out for bees in your ear.