A group of people whose priorities are in perfect order

When you see a title like that in a blog like this, you would probably be wise to detect a level of sarcasm in the tone. After all, the most serious topic I've tackled since I've been writing this has been facial hair in sports (not counting the actual serious one). Not to trivialize the importance of ridiculing the ugly, but this is something deserving of all of our attention.

Six Flags mounted a disgusting promotion allowing people at their Illinois theme park to get discounts and preferred treatment in line at the rides if they eat cockroaches. Madagascar hissing cockroaches, no less, which are so named because when threatened they, of course, giggle like a schoolgirl. In case you were wondering what this vile creature looks like, here's a link that will answer all of your questions, because I don't want images of these things on my blog. This is a place for comfort and whimsy, not insects that have the potential for vomit inducement.

Now, you might think that I am questioning the priorities of the people who are eating the cockroaches to save 35 minutes in line for a roller coaster. I am not. If you have ever been to a theme park, you have probably considered making deals with God or Satan or cockroaches to get a little closer to the line to get out of the heat or from behind the giant hairy guy in front of you who is wearing a muscle shirt and smells like the bottom of your bathroom wastebasket. The cockroach is probably a fair compromise, all things considered. I do wonder, though, if you swallow it whole, can you still feel it trying to walk around or fly around inside of you? Because if you swallow an ice cube or a chunk of hot food, you can tell where it is in your throat the whole way down. I can only imagine that the little legs of an insect would be fluttering madly down your esophagus. That's pretty gross.

The people whose priorities are in question are those mentioned in this story, and if you had to guess, involve PETA. They are protesting because it seems unfair in their minds that roaches should be eaten alive for such a ridiculous marketing campaign. I think they might get better traction if the folks at Six Flags were eating something like kittens rather than roaches. Kittens don't pose nearly as many health risks and are a lot more helpless than roaches. Unless it's like a Jaguar kitten, then it is probably a little less helpless.

The point is, there are like a trillion causes that are more worthwhile than this one. I personally think that many of the animal rights ones are misdirected effort anyway, since there are still people out there who don't drive Land Rovers. But clearly, I think PETA's time could be better spent on doing something other than trying to halt a marketing campaign involving eating a live cockroach. They could, for example, donate blood, bake cookies, or lick 100,000 envelopes for no reason. Any of those would be more productive and make PETA look less ridiculous.