I notice, from time to time, that while seated I lean a little bit to the left. This isn't a reflection of any political views, having one bum-cheek be smaller than another, or some sort of effort to maximize a suntan based on window placement. Actually, it's probably closest to the second one. The men in the audience are probably thinking to themselves, if they are seated on a firm chair, that they are doing that now. Women may be puzzled. So I will explain.
People like to buy things. They use money to do it. It is a bit awkward to carry that money in your hand when you're going to buy fireworks or a live chicken. Women keep their money in a purse. Men keep their money in a wallet. I, like many others, keep my wallet in my back pocket. My back right pocket, to be exact. As a result, it pushes me to the left while I am sitting down. I'm like the Leaning Tower of Engineer Sighted.
To combat this, some folks have gone to extreme measures like emptying only of critical contents like their credit and Hooter's Lunch Club cards, disposing of cash and receipts permanently. Others have simply gotten a second wallet, so that rather than be off center, you sit propped up as if on blocks. The key things to remember about this solution is to always have the same amount of cash in each wallet and to wear each wallet on opposite sides. Otherwise you're just compounding the problem. Still others (the least socially aware, I would say) go to fanny packs. I haven't seen one in a long time, but then again, I haven't been to Disney World in a while, either. I have no doubt that somewhere people are still using them. Although, I never understood their naming; they are traditionally worn in front of a person, while the fanny itself is behind said person.
So what am I going to do? I think I may try to make my wallet a little bit slimmer so that I don't have a permanent twist in my entire body. I may consider switching sides every once in a while, but there's something that seems really unnatural about that, like using the other hand to brush your teeth.
(The title is [I think] 'Whose idea was the wallet anyway?' in Irish. If someone who knows better sees this, please feel free to send a correction or confirmation.)
5 comments:
You could switch to wearing your wallet in a front pocket. Dad had/has back problems and the whatever doctor (this was some time ago) suggested that he move his wallet to his front pocket to alleviate the problem of sitting at an angle all the time. Turns out it isn't exactly healthy on the back to sit with the hips forced to be unlevel. I've carried my wallet in the front right pocket since I started carrying one. I don't like the leaned feeling. Of course, it does tend to make a bit of a bulge on the front of your pants - it's square, but I still get odd looks on occasion (and yes, the looks are due to the bulge and not just me).
Thanks for the advice.
About a year ago I switched to the All-Ett (http://www.all-ett.com) -- the world's thinnest wallet! But really, aside from the marketing hype I like the thing. It's thin.
-Aaron Z.
It's actually quite humorous that men are so engrossed on finding a resolution to carrying your wallet in your back pocket.
My advice, in all honesty, is probably the best you'll ever receive. Just put your wallet in your back right pocket, like usual, and when you go to sit down, don't think about it. Or try not to, at least. I know it's hard to resist, because it's bothersome.
That advice wasn't really that good, sorry, I just wanted to say that. Oh, I'm going to give you another compliment on your writing.
You seem to always address the issues that we all know, yet never really think about. I love it. I wish I could write like you, and it's rumored that my writing's above average.
I honestly didn't mean to sound conceited right there. Okay, maybe a little.
Anonymous guy - "I wish I could write like you" is probably the best complement you can give a writer. Thanks. If you're going to post regularly, you should either a) get an account or b) sign off with like an R or your actual name or initial.
Not thinking about it is a nice possibility, but when a lump is being driven into your bumcheek definitely brings it to the forefront. The holy grail of wallet sitting, though, is having it roll over a little bit so that it isn't actually under you. But you need big pockets for that.
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