Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Invented by Terrorists: Pant buttons

Yesterday, something happened to me that I can't remember ever happening before. As I was leaving my lab, my shorts started to fall down. At first, I just thought, "Well, maybe they're a little big," and pulled them up. Then it became quite clear that it wasn't that they were a little big. Evidently, the button at the top of the zipper doesn't always latch in the best way, and my walking action coupled with the weight of my cell phone and wallet worked my zipper down a ways as well. So, effectively, my shorts weren't actually on.

So, I'm standing in the middle of an engineering building on Clemson campus, and fortunately, there aren't too many gawkers standing nearby. So I angle myself towards the wall and a plant, and correct the problem. I then realize that it may look like I'm relieving myself into the plant. That could have been a rather embarrassing turn of events had anyone been around to point and laugh. So for now, only you, dear readers, will be aware of my wardrobe malfunction.

I know what you're thinking now: "Maybe he just went to the bathroom and forgot to button his pants, like a moron." I'm pretty sure that this is not true because the button popped loose again later that day. I did manage to catch it before zipper failure occurred, so crisis was averted. I can understand your skepticism, though. I can assure you that I do understand the mechanics of dressing myself.

No comments: